Keeping Play Fun
Goddess’s Rules, Safe Words, and Sanitary Precautions
For most BDSM scenarios Goddess uses the words: Red, Yellow, Green. “Red” means “full stop”, and the scene is halted/paused to assess what is bothering the submissive/client. “Yellow” means “getting too intense”, and the activity is scaled back to a previous level the submissive/client was comfortable with. “Green” means “all good”. (Goddess may ask you “what’s your color” at any time during a session. You may also call out a color at any time. )
For impact scenes (consensual striking of the submissive), Goddess prefers a number system (1-10). 10 is akin to “red”, 8-9 are like saying “yellow”. The number system is a pain scale that helps the Dominant understand where the client is at, and how much more force may be used. The numbers 1-7 provide better insight into pain tolerance than “green”. (You may be asked “your number” at any time during an impact scene. You may also call out a number anytime you think Goddess needs to know it. For scenes where the submissive is consensually gagged, a visual cue will be incorporated, so the submissive is still able to express limits effectively.)
Consensual Non-Consent is a term used to describe scenes/play/sessions in which there is a role-play of one person being harmed/punished or controlled against their will. The entire scene may be designed around this concept, or it may simply be a place the bottom/submissive/client likes to go in their head during a scene.
For this reason, the words “no”, “stop”, “please don’t” are not used as safe words. Using colors or numbers allows the bottom/submissive/client to play out these scenarios, while still having clear ways to keep the scene consensual, safe, and fun.
There isn’t an activity in BDSM, or in contact sports that is entirely risk free. When you choose to engage in these activities, you must accept that there is some risk that things may not go perfectly every time.
It is important that you play with someone you trust to have your best interests in mind. But, even taking every safety precaution, there will always be risks. Clients are encouraged to ask about the risks of different activities. They are also encouraged to do their own research into the potential dangers of the activities they engage in. It is YOUR responsibility to understand your health/medical issues, and to inform Goddess.
Rules and limits for wrestling, boxing, or any competitive/semi-competitive, or “fantasy” fight scenes will be discussed and negotiated on an individual basis. There are some basic rules that must be followed for everyone’s safety:
- If it wasn’t negotiated, don’t do it.
- NO armbars, choking, joint locks, or striking without pre-approval (permission sometimes given for regular clients that know how to do these safely).
- No landing on opponent from higher than kneeling
- No throwing opponent without prior training
- No hair pulling
- No eye jabs/pokes/elbows/intentional strikes.
- No scratching or biting
- No groin strikes
- No blows to the kidney/liver
- If someone passes out, taps out, or says “tap”, all fighting ceases immediately. It is only resumed when both parties are lucid and give consent.
- No bracing against objects or walls during grappling
- No throwing people against walls or objects
- No weapons of any kind are allowed
- If someone is unable to defend themselves for any reason, the fight stops.
It is important to recognize that everyone (tops/bottoms) has “limits”. These are things they do not wish to experience/engage in. These are discussed prior to starting a scene/session, during a negotiation.
Goddess will tell you her limits, and expects you to be honest about your own limits.
If you are wishing to test your limits, this can be done with good communication and use of safe words/numbers.
All limits are to be respected by both parties. This is essential to everyone’s safety and enjoyment.
There are a variety of opinions about the best practices for cleaning implements, and maintaining sanitary/safe play environments. I uses both scientific information and practicality in choosing my methods. It is important to recognize that there is no such thing as a completely sterile play environment.
Some subs/bottoms prefer to keep their own set of toys that is used exclusively on them. This is the best way to avoid transfer of microbes/infections between people.
Most things cannot be perfectly sterilized, and most implements owned by any domme or dungeon have at some point or another been used to strike someones genitals. Please recognize that when you play, you always do so at your own risk.
Additional safety precautions I use:
- Nitrile gloves are used instead of latex (please let me know if you have an allergy – toys and clothing can be latex also)
- Needles (for needleplay) are always bought in sterile individual packages, and never reused. They are disposed of immediately in a sharps container after being removed.
- I clean my personal grappling mats with Clear Gear Sports Cleaner after every use. If I am renting a facility for a grappling session, I will use the facilities cleaning products to clean their mats before and after each match.